The real main role of the father throughout the birth is to simply love his wife/partner unconditionally during this time. That’s all! They should not have to remember every little detail of their birth plan. They should be free to act as fathers, whether that is crying, worrying, and absorbing the entire experience of childbirth and his new role as a father.

Doulas are not just for the mother; they help fathers as well. Here’s how:

• Labors generally are 8-15 hours depending on many factors. Some can last for more than 20 hours! A doula can remind Dad to take a break, get something to eat, or even take a nap- guilt free.
• Dads want to help also, but are not exactly sure how. A doula can empower him to support his wife by having him do various pain coping practices that may relieve and help his wife cope with the pain of labor.
• Dads have feelings too! The laboring woman is not the only one that is going through an emotional journey during labor- so is Dad. Dads get excited, nervous, worried, confused, relieved, and happy throughout labor. On top of these very real feelings is the #1 fact that it is not easy to see the woman he loves in pain and not know exactly what to do to help or relieve her. After all, it is instinct in men to protect and if he can not or does not know how to protect a loved one, he can feel very frustrated/vulnerable. Having a doula can help him to understand the process of childbirth, the emotional journey that his wife is going through, and assure him that the birth process is going well.
• It is less pressure for Dad to have to remember their birth plans or the pros/cons of medical interventions. Also, some fathers appreciate being in the “back seat” or silent and prefer that his wife feel his strong presence instead. Some men are just not that good at comforting- they can really appreciate a doula who can take over to fill that role.